Camp!

So I finally broke down and bought an IPod nano. I rarely spend any money on items that are just for fun, and to spend $200 on a box that plays music, it was quite the step for me. This last week I've spent over $600 getting ready for Cancun and Benin (my family is taking a vacation to Cancun in May) I keep on having to rationalize my expenses, because I won't buy something if I don't need it. I get more and more uncomfortable the more I spend. I've saved my entire life and now to actually spend something is mind blowing.
So I'm going up to my family camp this weekend. By camp I mean cabin on a lake. Without insulation, when the wind blows at night I can feel it on my face as I lay in bed. There is still snow on the ground and the ice hasn't gone out yet. I bet it will be colder inside the camp than outside, probably will take the stove at least three hours to warm the place up. I just started to fully realize the scope of my decision to join the Peace Corps when I remembered that this was going to be probably the last time I'm at camp for two years. This thought made me quite sad. This is a place where I've grown up and gone every summer to spend time with my extended family, and I'm going to miss two years of it.
I'm sure everyone has some sort of realization where they think "Wow, I'm not going to do this thing that I like so much for two years." I will miss everyone dearly, but my decision is still final. I've had dreams of traveling and not just being a tourist but a citizen. I used to say that I wanted to live in a place on my own for at least a year instead of visit it for a week. It's probably my extreme independence, but I want to prove myself in a place that is not familiar. I also want to help others, by living more sustainably. I always keep in the back of my mind that through this experience I know that Benin will teach me more than what I can teach Benin, and I'm looking forward to that.