10pm

I remember when I started this whole using time of day to represent my Peace Corps experience. I remember people telling me that I would make it to midnight. I also remember midnight seeming like an eternity when I was at 2am. It's strange to think that my journey is almost over. I'm leaving for the states Aug 5th, to start a new chapter in my life. Find a job, make some money, remember how to be an American. When I started this blog I was excited about Benin, now that I'm ending my time here I'm starting to feel nostalgic about my time here, even though I'm still living it. Mixed emotions, sad to leave Benin and close the door on my time here. I realize that I can come back, but it won't be the same, even if I live in the same village, in the same house, doing exactly the same work, it won't ever be the same. People will change, my village will ever so slowly have become more developed in my absence. This has been the time of my young adult life. I know that I will have more adventures and a lifetime of opportunities to feel more alive everyday like I do in Benin. I'm a bit sad to have to leave West Africa. My emotions aren't just sadness, I'm happy to go home as well. Of course it won't be the same, just as Benin will continue to change when I leave, home has changed while I've been away. It's not the same, as much as I want it to be, even little things like my cousins getting older. I want to go home and readjust to the changes that have happened before they get out of hand and I return to a home I don't recognize.

My wish for my last days in Benin is to spend it with the people who have made my service. Go back to my village and spend time with my adopted families and friends who have graciously welcomed me into a world I knew nothing about, who encouraged me during hard times, who fed me when I burned my own dinner, who raised kittens with me, who made me smile on hard days, and who comforted and dried my tears.

A message to incoming Peace Corps Volunteers: When I went home on vacation a good friend of mine asked me 'So do you like being a Peace Corps Volunteer?' and my response was 'I couldn't be doing anything better with my time.' I still believe that, this was the best place for me at the time I joined. The good days, the bad days, the boring days, have shaped me into who I am today. I never thought I'd change so much, but I have and it's for the better. Welcome to Benin.