Why I Love Benin (and my dog)

Benin is like a dog who takes longer than average to train and still wees in relatives houses when you go visiting, the dog that eats an entire package of french praline chocolates brought from France, the dog that chewed up every last pair of your flip flops and then barfed on your favorite quilt. Then this same dog sleeps snuggled up against you every night, is always excited to see you, and looks up at you with eyes that make your heart melt so fast you don't know what hit you. This dog is actually mine at home, his name is Woody. He's the type of dog that you love in spite of their idiosyncrasies, a good dog underneath the weeing, chewing and eating of expensive french chocolates. Benin is like that, I love it in spite of itself. Sometimes Benin and I have our differences but I know at the end of my service, I really will have learned to love Benin.

Some places don't have to earn your love, Benin had to earn mine. When I walked off the plane I remember the hectic hip checking, elbowing game of getting you luggage off the small carousel. Then I walked out into the air of Benin, humid and hot at 11pm, it hit me like a smack across the face. During the first two weeks of living in Benin I had a severe case of amoebas where I lost about 10 pounds, almost a pound a day, and then the day that I felt I couldn't take anymore I found out that my grandfather had died. From there on out Benin and I weren't getting along and I was on 'tough it out' mode, which is probably why I ended up actually staying. But because of this choice I led the kind of life that you feel like you have to fight everything and everyone on anything just to keep some sort of sanity. Needless to say training was not a fun time for me.

I've come a long way from that girl who had a constant attitude problem. I've relaxed and let go a lot of the problems that I was having with Benin. The reasons I love Benin run much deeper than I ever expected. I love Benin for it's relaxed stance on everything, I love it for it's colorful life, I love it for being an adventure, I love how good food tastes better here, I love when I bite into a mango and the juice runs down my chin. Most of all I love it for making me feel more alive everyday of my life than I did back in the states. I'm not saying that I never want to leave, and I want to live the rest of my days in Benin, but I am saying that I will miss the daily adventures. Benin is an acquired taste, one that will probably linger in my mouth, and continue to come out my pores long after I've gone home. Benin somehow manages to magnifies every emotion, every event, good or bad. Life is more colorful, more wonderful, more irritating, and more obnoxious.

A big reason why I love Benin was that it challenged me. It gave me the opportunity to let go of insecurities that I had, and come into myself as (dare I say it?) an adult. I am more sure of who I am, and more accepting of who I'm not now than what I was back in 2008.

Even though Benin makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes, like when I'm stuck in a bush taxi with 20 other people in 110 degree heat, when strange men harass me, and when people refuse to give me the right price for things because I'm white, underneath it all, I love it, in spite of itself. Benin, you've earned my love.